2020 & The Return

It is a cold and wet Saturday night. A few remaining leaves hold tightly to the trees outside our window. Their battle is just a matter of time. Watching the rainfall over the valley from our third-floor apartment, I contemplate how typical this scene is for the Pacific Northwest this time of the year. I foolishly fumble for my phone. I am alone within these walls. Brandon is working or out with friends. It is becoming increasingly hard for me to tell the difference between the two. I find myself wishing longingly for a text or a call to break the silence. I am not twenty anymore, so I don’t need the conversation to lead to immediate plans. I just need to know someone/anyone is thinking of me. The call never comes. The vibration is never felt. My presence isn’t needed anywhere in the city tonight. Much like the weather this time of year, this too has become typical of my return to Seattle.

2020 was intended to be an anomaly. In the midst of a once-in-a-century pandemic, I knew Seattle would not be able to show me the best version of herself. Social distancing, stay-at-home orders, and an abundance of caution meant our homes would have to hold us longer than anyone ever intended. On the other side of this experience would be a return to normal. At the end of this tunnel would be a Seattle more familiar to me, or so I thought.