Not That Different

I know this is a big ask, but for a brief moment in time, step outside your moral convictions or religious beliefs. In this post, I want you to judge a relationship on your experience. Over the next few paragraphs, I want you to judge my relationship by your relationship. Judge us by what popular culture has taught you. Judge us by what you know to be true about all that is necessary for a healthy relationship to prosper. As we weave our way through this exercise, know that tolerance of something you cannot morally accept, but are willing to celebrate from a distance is not my goal. In the end, I want you to understand we are not that different.

Think of the last heated or profound conversation you had with your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Was it about the future? Expenses? Helping out around the house? Caring for the children? Travel? How the in-laws are treating you? Something you said was misunderstood? Sex?

Did the conversation happen over the kitchen table, in bed, or on a long drive? Did you shout, stand up for yourself, talk passionately, cry, find common ground, or reach a peaceful agreement? Were you filled with doubt or sure of yourself? Did you decide to love this person, even the things you cannot change? Did you grow or decide to continue working? Did you decide love is the hardest thing you will ever do, but also find it profoundly rewarding?